What can I do to make you mine, falling so hard, so fast this time...
Falling hard and fast can be exciting, but it can also be frightening
Falling in love is considered as one of the most beautiful and thrilling experiences of an individual's life. Thoughts about the new person in your life completely occupy your mind and there is hardly any space left for worries and anxiety. Falling hard and fast can be exciting, but it can also be frightening. "Did I select a wrong guy, did he misread my intentions, did I portray myself as a desperate love seeker" are the few thoughts that add worry lines to your heart. So what should you do, go ahead and celebrate that you found your Mr. Right? Or put speed breakers to avoid making a wrong choice? Is falling in love fast a serious issue? Let's find out...
There is a difference between an undertow and a tide
It is tricky to draw the line between infatuation and love. Sakshi Shah, a senior executive in an event management firm says, "We met over dinner at a conference around two months back. In the course of our not so intellectual conversation, we exchanged our contact details. As both of us stayed in different cities, we never met since then, but have talked to great lengths over the Internet and the phone. Sometimes I really feel strange that in such short span of time, I have become so comfortable with my male friend that we can talk about anything and everything under the sun."
She adds, "Recently he told me how much I mean to him, and now he is coming over specially to see me. I don't know what to tell him, as our relationship is progressing at lightning speed that I haven't had the time to calculate is he really the one for me. Do I only enjoy his attention alone or do I really want to get hitched?"
Love tip: Senior consultant, psychiatry, Himanshu Saxena says, "When a person starts liking somebody, he/she starts believing that they are meant to be together. Most of the times, they ignore the behavioural and emotional problems that may occur between them. Obviously, everybody tries to flaunt the best of their behaviour initially as all deep seated problems surface later. We live in a modern society where men and women both are sexually expressive. In case of most youngsters, they misunderstand infatuation as love. That is why they have to deal with heart breaks quite often."
Not all impulses are meant to be acted upon
Men have a tendency that if you chase them desperately; they run further away from you. Keep this golden rule in mind, when you deal with the new flame in your life.
Divya Sharma, a student adds, "I had been eyeing one of my classmates for a long time. During our college fest preparations, I got an opportunity to interact with him. I used to make it a point to spend sometime alone with him after our rehearsals. But nowadays, he doesn't seem to be interested in talking to me. I even tried befriending his gang of pals, so that I got to spend more time with him, but it was of no use. Initially he used to answer all my calls and messages, but now he doesn't bother to acknowledge my presence. I am really into this guy, but don't know how to make him understand that this means more than a crazy college romance for me."
Love tip: If you flood your guy with calls and messages he might end up misinterpreting your feelings and think you are desperate to hook-up.
Dr Anu Goel, psychiatrist reccomends, "Once your guy starts thinking that he has control over your heart and mind, he might start taking you for granted and may start trying his luck with other girls. So try to maintain that respect for yourself. Do not let him get bored with you. Don't reveal everything at one go, save something for later. No matter how madly you want him, still don't show your vulnerability to the person you're attracted to. It's sweet that you are tempted to call him five times in a day, but control your feelings and let me enjoy the feeling of space.”
Slow things down
To a large extent your thinking depends on your past experiences. Many people who have had a bad relationship in the past, try to rush into a new one to heal a broken heart
Neena Vishnoi, a homemaker shares her experience, "I had been through an abusive relationship in the past. I was seeing this guy for almost three years. Initially I used to think that he loved me so much that he turned increasingly possessive about me. But with the passage of time I realised that he was insecure about everything in his life. I had no option but to break up with him. I was going through a rough patch in my life, when my parents got me engaged."
In their courtship period of four months, Neena kept on comparing her fiance with her previous boyfriend who she found him better. She further adds "We are married now, but unfortunately my husband is more possessive than my ex. I think I overlooked all this in the beginning as I was feeling lonely after my break up. I wish I had taken more time before getting married. It's too late now."'
Love tip: It takes time to understand somebody and develop a bond. If you think things are shaping up too quickly between the two of you, make sure you slow things down.
Dr Anu Goel suggests, "Leave the emotional baggage of your past behind, before stepping into a new relationship. This helps individuals see things more clearly. In the initial phase, almost every relationship is more of a physical attraction. Knowing the positive and negative aspects of a person comes later.."
Avoid the usual clichés like- I need some time to think or we need to take things little slowly. The other person may end up believing that you are not interested in them. So look for better excuses and take your time in making the right life decision
Wait to confess
Even if you think you are in love, hold on, as your love interest may not be experiencing the same feelings yet. Remember
Falling hard and fast can be exciting, but it can also be frightening
these three words can make or break a relationship.
Swati Rawat, a senior journalist with a publication says, "I was very attracted to my colleague, I always used to look forward to meet him. Sometime back, he asked me out for dinner. Things got so cosy that we ended up sharing a warm goodnight kiss. I thought it was the beginning of a new bond. We went out a lot after that, yet he never confessed his feelings for me. I thought he was a shy person and so I finally came clean about my innermost feelings. He kept quite for long before saying that he too reciprocated my feelings but needed some more time to get into a steady affair. He told me that he was not in love yet. I felt so humiliated that since that day I have decided to stay clear of him."
Love tip: The best way to avoid such a situation is to hold on to your emotions.
Dr Himanshu Saxena advises, "If after having an incredible date you feel like confessing your love to your partner, than just take a deep breath and count ten. In those ten seconds you might realise whether he/she is the right person for you and whether it is the right time to initiate things. If your partner doesn't respond to your feelings with equal passion, than you may feel insulted and find the situation difficult to deal with. So keep mum until you are confident of what both of you feel."
Avoid future planning
Most people have very special plans about their marriage and regarding their perfect soul mate . Before discussing all this with your new crush, try to read their mind. Sameer Khurana, a media person tells, "I met this girl through a common friend. During our first few dates, I realised she lived in a rosy world. Within months, she had plans about our beach wedding, kids and dream house. For her, talking about the future was something very romantic, but for me it was the red signal. I think she was in love with the idea of being in love."
Love tip: Let's face it - you don't marry every guy/girl you date.
Dr Anu Goel says, "Don't talk about your future plans with the person you are not sure of marrying. Generally men prefer a practical partner, who understands the ground reality of a relationship and not the ones who believe in blindly chasing somebody."
Falling in love is just like eating a cake, if you eat it slowly, you will be able to enjoy the delicacy for a longer time and its taste will linger in your mouth for long. You can definitely control the pace of your relationship, but it largely depends on your level of maturity. Falling in love is something so fascinating that people fail to see both the sides of the coin. Therefore, just let your relationship gradually grow, to make it stronger and everlasting. As the saying goes, only fools rush in. So get smart and take a informed decision about your life.
Falling in love is considered as one of the most beautiful and thrilling experiences of an individual's life. Thoughts about the new person in your life completely occupy your mind and there is hardly any space left for worries and anxiety. Falling hard and fast can be exciting, but it can also be frightening. "Did I select a wrong guy, did he misread my intentions, did I portray myself as a desperate love seeker" are the few thoughts that add worry lines to your heart. So what should you do, go ahead and celebrate that you found your Mr. Right? Or put speed breakers to avoid making a wrong choice? Is falling in love fast a serious issue? Let's find out...
There is a difference between an undertow and a tide
It is tricky to draw the line between infatuation and love. Sakshi Shah, a senior executive in an event management firm says, "We met over dinner at a conference around two months back. In the course of our not so intellectual conversation, we exchanged our contact details. As both of us stayed in different cities, we never met since then, but have talked to great lengths over the Internet and the phone. Sometimes I really feel strange that in such short span of time, I have become so comfortable with my male friend that we can talk about anything and everything under the sun."
She adds, "Recently he told me how much I mean to him, and now he is coming over specially to see me. I don't know what to tell him, as our relationship is progressing at lightning speed that I haven't had the time to calculate is he really the one for me. Do I only enjoy his attention alone or do I really want to get hitched?"
Love tip: Senior consultant, psychiatry, Himanshu Saxena says, "When a person starts liking somebody, he/she starts believing that they are meant to be together. Most of the times, they ignore the behavioural and emotional problems that may occur between them. Obviously, everybody tries to flaunt the best of their behaviour initially as all deep seated problems surface later. We live in a modern society where men and women both are sexually expressive. In case of most youngsters, they misunderstand infatuation as love. That is why they have to deal with heart breaks quite often."
Not all impulses are meant to be acted upon
Men have a tendency that if you chase them desperately; they run further away from you. Keep this golden rule in mind, when you deal with the new flame in your life.
Divya Sharma, a student adds, "I had been eyeing one of my classmates for a long time. During our college fest preparations, I got an opportunity to interact with him. I used to make it a point to spend sometime alone with him after our rehearsals. But nowadays, he doesn't seem to be interested in talking to me. I even tried befriending his gang of pals, so that I got to spend more time with him, but it was of no use. Initially he used to answer all my calls and messages, but now he doesn't bother to acknowledge my presence. I am really into this guy, but don't know how to make him understand that this means more than a crazy college romance for me."
Love tip: If you flood your guy with calls and messages he might end up misinterpreting your feelings and think you are desperate to hook-up.
Dr Anu Goel, psychiatrist reccomends, "Once your guy starts thinking that he has control over your heart and mind, he might start taking you for granted and may start trying his luck with other girls. So try to maintain that respect for yourself. Do not let him get bored with you. Don't reveal everything at one go, save something for later. No matter how madly you want him, still don't show your vulnerability to the person you're attracted to. It's sweet that you are tempted to call him five times in a day, but control your feelings and let me enjoy the feeling of space.”
Slow things down
To a large extent your thinking depends on your past experiences. Many people who have had a bad relationship in the past, try to rush into a new one to heal a broken heart
Neena Vishnoi, a homemaker shares her experience, "I had been through an abusive relationship in the past. I was seeing this guy for almost three years. Initially I used to think that he loved me so much that he turned increasingly possessive about me. But with the passage of time I realised that he was insecure about everything in his life. I had no option but to break up with him. I was going through a rough patch in my life, when my parents got me engaged."
In their courtship period of four months, Neena kept on comparing her fiance with her previous boyfriend who she found him better. She further adds "We are married now, but unfortunately my husband is more possessive than my ex. I think I overlooked all this in the beginning as I was feeling lonely after my break up. I wish I had taken more time before getting married. It's too late now."'
Love tip: It takes time to understand somebody and develop a bond. If you think things are shaping up too quickly between the two of you, make sure you slow things down.
Dr Anu Goel suggests, "Leave the emotional baggage of your past behind, before stepping into a new relationship. This helps individuals see things more clearly. In the initial phase, almost every relationship is more of a physical attraction. Knowing the positive and negative aspects of a person comes later.."
Avoid the usual clichés like- I need some time to think or we need to take things little slowly. The other person may end up believing that you are not interested in them. So look for better excuses and take your time in making the right life decision
Wait to confess
Even if you think you are in love, hold on, as your love interest may not be experiencing the same feelings yet. Remember
Falling hard and fast can be exciting, but it can also be frightening
these three words can make or break a relationship.
Swati Rawat, a senior journalist with a publication says, "I was very attracted to my colleague, I always used to look forward to meet him. Sometime back, he asked me out for dinner. Things got so cosy that we ended up sharing a warm goodnight kiss. I thought it was the beginning of a new bond. We went out a lot after that, yet he never confessed his feelings for me. I thought he was a shy person and so I finally came clean about my innermost feelings. He kept quite for long before saying that he too reciprocated my feelings but needed some more time to get into a steady affair. He told me that he was not in love yet. I felt so humiliated that since that day I have decided to stay clear of him."
Love tip: The best way to avoid such a situation is to hold on to your emotions.
Dr Himanshu Saxena advises, "If after having an incredible date you feel like confessing your love to your partner, than just take a deep breath and count ten. In those ten seconds you might realise whether he/she is the right person for you and whether it is the right time to initiate things. If your partner doesn't respond to your feelings with equal passion, than you may feel insulted and find the situation difficult to deal with. So keep mum until you are confident of what both of you feel."
Avoid future planning
Most people have very special plans about their marriage and regarding their perfect soul mate . Before discussing all this with your new crush, try to read their mind. Sameer Khurana, a media person tells, "I met this girl through a common friend. During our first few dates, I realised she lived in a rosy world. Within months, she had plans about our beach wedding, kids and dream house. For her, talking about the future was something very romantic, but for me it was the red signal. I think she was in love with the idea of being in love."
Love tip: Let's face it - you don't marry every guy/girl you date.
Dr Anu Goel says, "Don't talk about your future plans with the person you are not sure of marrying. Generally men prefer a practical partner, who understands the ground reality of a relationship and not the ones who believe in blindly chasing somebody."
Falling in love is just like eating a cake, if you eat it slowly, you will be able to enjoy the delicacy for a longer time and its taste will linger in your mouth for long. You can definitely control the pace of your relationship, but it largely depends on your level of maturity. Falling in love is something so fascinating that people fail to see both the sides of the coin. Therefore, just let your relationship gradually grow, to make it stronger and everlasting. As the saying goes, only fools rush in. So get smart and take a informed decision about your life.
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