10 Top Relationship Tips

What's the key to a successful relationship? Some might think that's the million dollar question. Sometimes it's just the simple things, that we easily forget or think are unimportant that hold the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Read through the helpful tips below on how to make your relationship go the distance.

1. Without quality time together, your relationship will not survive. Aim to devote at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You both want to feel secure within the relationship. A good relationship is built on compromise and a lot of give and take from both of you.

3. Often those little things that first attracted you to your partner can turn into nasty annoying habits. Learn to love your partner warts and all. Don't try to change them into something they're not, after all you fell in love with them just the way they were.

4. Money is one of the top conflicts between most couples. For the relationship to work, you need to address your finances and maybe even work out a budget.

5. Learn to argue well. Never say something to your partner that you wouldn't want to hear said back. Just remember, the one good thing they say about arguing, is the making up afterwards.

6. Communication is vital to all healthy relationships. Listen to your partner and avoid blame and judgement. Don't let your emotions dictate your behaviour. Remember just talking things over can help you to both have a deeper understanding of each other.

7. Sort out your sex life, it may start to go downhill over the years, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice it, address it with your partner and work out why, and what to do to bring back the passion. Maybe one of your prefers more sex than the other. Why not experiment with new ideas in the bedroom. Role play, dressing up, or maybe take your sex life out of the bedroom and try new places. The introduction of marital aids into the relationship can also help to spice things up. Whatever you decide, remember communication is vital.

8. Try to keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell your partner how much you need them, but don't get to dependent on them and cling to them all the time, as that can make your partner feel trapped. On the flip side of this, don't allow your partner to think you don't need them, by going or doing things without them. Try to keep a happy and healthy balance between the two.

9.Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, and feel the trust can never be regained then give yourself, and him a break and start again, with someone new.

10. Don't ever think that going to counselling is a sign of a failed relationship. It can turna bad relationship around and can also turn an average relationship into an excellent one. More and more people are turning to counselling today than ever, it shows you are both prepared to try and make things better, which can't be a bad thing at all.

The fact remains, that whether you're dating or married, relationships are hard. It takes 100% commitment from both of you. However, healthy and long-lasting relationships are achievable and many couples have proven just that. Not everything is always going to be perfect but if you both choose to make it work then it can. And remember it's the little things that you sometimes do that can go a long way to making your relationship work.

The Ten Secrets of LOVE

The Ten Secrets of LOVE

The first secret – the power of THOUGHT

Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider his or her needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her.

The second secret – the power of RESPECT

You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect, ask yourself, What do I respect about myself? To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, what do I respect about them?

The third secret – the power of GIVING

If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship, ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

The fourth secret – the power of FRIENDSHIP

To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other’s eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love him or her for who they are and not for what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The fifth secret – the power of TOUCH

Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The sixth secret – the power of LETTING GO

If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours, if it doesn’t, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me – today is the beginning of a new life.

The seventh secret – the power of COMMUNICATION

When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: I Love You. Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word – it could be the last time you see him or her. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and why are you waiting?

The eighth secret – the power of COMMITMENT

If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the TRUE test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The ninth secret – the power of PASSION

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be re-created by re-creating past experiences. When you felt passionate spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The tenth secret – the power of TRUST

Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you can trust him or her completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, Do I trust them completely and unreservedly? If the answer is no – think carefully before making a commitment.

Falling in love too fast?

What can I do to make you mine, falling so hard, so fast this time...

Falling hard and fast can be exciting, but it can also be frightening



Falling in love is considered as one of the most beautiful and thrilling experiences of an individual's life. Thoughts about the new person in your life completely occupy your mind and there is hardly any space left for worries and anxiety. Falling hard and fast can be exciting, but it can also be frightening. "Did I select a wrong guy, did he misread my intentions, did I portray myself as a desperate love seeker" are the few thoughts that add worry lines to your heart. So what should you do, go ahead and celebrate that you found your Mr. Right? Or put speed breakers to avoid making a wrong choice? Is falling in love fast a serious issue? Let's find out...

There is a difference between an undertow and a tide
It is tricky to draw the line between infatuation and love. Sakshi Shah, a senior executive in an event management firm says, "We met over dinner at a conference around two months back. In the course of our not so intellectual conversation, we exchanged our contact details. As both of us stayed in different cities, we never met since then, but have talked to great lengths over the Internet and the phone. Sometimes I really feel strange that in such short span of time, I have become so comfortable with my male friend that we can talk about anything and everything under the sun."

She adds, "Recently he told me how much I mean to him, and now he is coming over specially to see me. I don't know what to tell him, as our relationship is progressing at lightning speed that I haven't had the time to calculate is he really the one for me. Do I only enjoy his attention alone or do I really want to get hitched?"

Love tip: Senior consultant, psychiatry, Himanshu Saxena says, "When a person starts liking somebody, he/she starts believing that they are meant to be together. Most of the times, they ignore the behavioural and emotional problems that may occur between them. Obviously, everybody tries to flaunt the best of their behaviour initially as all deep seated problems surface later. We live in a modern society where men and women both are sexually expressive. In case of most youngsters, they misunderstand infatuation as love. That is why they have to deal with heart breaks quite often."

Not all impulses are meant to be acted upon
Men have a tendency that if you chase them desperately; they run further away from you. Keep this golden rule in mind, when you deal with the new flame in your life.

Divya Sharma, a student adds, "I had been eyeing one of my classmates for a long time. During our college fest preparations, I got an opportunity to interact with him. I used to make it a point to spend sometime alone with him after our rehearsals. But nowadays, he doesn't seem to be interested in talking to me. I even tried befriending his gang of pals, so that I got to spend more time with him, but it was of no use. Initially he used to answer all my calls and messages, but now he doesn't bother to acknowledge my presence. I am really into this guy, but don't know how to make him understand that this means more than a crazy college romance for me."

Love tip: If you flood your guy with calls and messages he might end up misinterpreting your feelings and think you are desperate to hook-up.

Dr Anu Goel, psychiatrist reccomends, "Once your guy starts thinking that he has control over your heart and mind, he might start taking you for granted and may start trying his luck with other girls. So try to maintain that respect for yourself. Do not let him get bored with you. Don't reveal everything at one go, save something for later. No matter how madly you want him, still don't show your vulnerability to the person you're attracted to. It's sweet that you are tempted to call him five times in a day, but control your feelings and let me enjoy the feeling of space.”

Slow things down
To a large extent your thinking depends on your past experiences. Many people who have had a bad relationship in the past, try to rush into a new one to heal a broken heart

Neena Vishnoi, a homemaker shares her experience, "I had been through an abusive relationship in the past. I was seeing this guy for almost three years. Initially I used to think that he loved me so much that he turned increasingly possessive about me. But with the passage of time I realised that he was insecure about everything in his life. I had no option but to break up with him. I was going through a rough patch in my life, when my parents got me engaged."

In their courtship period of four months, Neena kept on comparing her fiance with her previous boyfriend who she found him better. She further adds "We are married now, but unfortunately my husband is more possessive than my ex. I think I overlooked all this in the beginning as I was feeling lonely after my break up. I wish I had taken more time before getting married. It's too late now."'

Love tip: It takes time to understand somebody and develop a bond. If you think things are shaping up too quickly between the two of you, make sure you slow things down.

Dr Anu Goel suggests, "Leave the emotional baggage of your past behind, before stepping into a new relationship. This helps individuals see things more clearly. In the initial phase, almost every relationship is more of a physical attraction. Knowing the positive and negative aspects of a person comes later.."

Avoid the usual clichés like- I need some time to think or we need to take things little slowly. The other person may end up believing that you are not interested in them. So look for better excuses and take your time in making the right life decision
Wait to confess
Even if you think you are in love, hold on, as your love interest may not be experiencing the same feelings yet. Remember

Falling hard and fast can be exciting, but it can also be frightening

these three words can make or break a relationship.

Swati Rawat, a senior journalist with a publication says, "I was very attracted to my colleague, I always used to look forward to meet him. Sometime back, he asked me out for dinner. Things got so cosy that we ended up sharing a warm goodnight kiss. I thought it was the beginning of a new bond. We went out a lot after that, yet he never confessed his feelings for me. I thought he was a shy person and so I finally came clean about my innermost feelings. He kept quite for long before saying that he too reciprocated my feelings but needed some more time to get into a steady affair. He told me that he was not in love yet. I felt so humiliated that since that day I have decided to stay clear of him."

Love tip: The best way to avoid such a situation is to hold on to your emotions.

Dr Himanshu Saxena advises, "If after having an incredible date you feel like confessing your love to your partner, than just take a deep breath and count ten. In those ten seconds you might realise whether he/she is the right person for you and whether it is the right time to initiate things. If your partner doesn't respond to your feelings with equal passion, than you may feel insulted and find the situation difficult to deal with. So keep mum until you are confident of what both of you feel."

Avoid future planning
Most people have very special plans about their marriage and regarding their perfect soul mate . Before discussing all this with your new crush, try to read their mind. Sameer Khurana, a media person tells, "I met this girl through a common friend. During our first few dates, I realised she lived in a rosy world. Within months, she had plans about our beach wedding, kids and dream house. For her, talking about the future was something very romantic, but for me it was the red signal. I think she was in love with the idea of being in love."

Love tip: Let's face it - you don't marry every guy/girl you date.

Dr Anu Goel says, "Don't talk about your future plans with the person you are not sure of marrying. Generally men prefer a practical partner, who understands the ground reality of a relationship and not the ones who believe in blindly chasing somebody."

Falling in love is just like eating a cake, if you eat it slowly, you will be able to enjoy the delicacy for a longer time and its taste will linger in your mouth for long. You can definitely control the pace of your relationship, but it largely depends on your level of maturity. Falling in love is something so fascinating that people fail to see both the sides of the coin. Therefore, just let your relationship gradually grow, to make it stronger and everlasting. As the saying goes, only fools rush in. So get smart and take a informed decision about your life.

Feng Shui for love!

Going through a rough patch in your marriage? Is passionate love-making a thing of the past? Are arguments and bickering ruining the romance? Feng Shui fior love Losing interest in your partner? In short, is marriage is no longer blissful?

If your answer is a 'yes' for even two of the above mentioned questions, your relationship definitely needs help! The Chinese art of Feng Shui can be a practical solution to bring back the much needed zing, fizz and passion to your love life.

But, what is Feng Shui and how different is it from Vaastu Shastra? Answers, expert Bhavesh Patni of the Ganesha Speaks team, "Feng Shui provides remedial measures by rectifying the flow of air and water in an already constructed home with an aim to improve the presence of chi (positive energy). Vaastu Shastra, on the other hand, provides solutions by making physical changes at the construction level in your home."

G. Kennedy of Astroyogi team considers Feng Shui as a star-pacifier which tones down the ill-effects of stars and planets in our life, "We make people understand that no one can change their destiny. If a relationship is bound to come to an end, it will. However, Feng Shui can lessen the impact of the planetary movements, which usually create circumstances of arguments, fights and divorce. Though it does not cure your karmic problems completely, it can definitely lessen them by promoting communication, love and passion between the partners and rooting out any negative energy from your house."

Feng Shui expert Ritu Kapoor elucidates the significance of positive energy in making or marring your relationship, "A positively charged Feng Shui bedroom bears a perfect balance of yin (female energy), yang (male energy), natural elements and colours ensuring a cordial flow of sensual energies between both partners."

A cordial relationship between partners includes a lot more than just compatibility. Stressful lifestyles, lack of proper sleep, sexual incompetence and fertility issues also sometimes take a marriage to a dead end.

It's then that Feng Shui comes with its corrective measures, chi boosting techniques and products to strengthen the love-energies in your home...and it may be as simple as moving your sofa or changing the colour of your walls!

Here are some basic Feng Shui tips to help you get back the lost action in your sex life: Creating your love shrine: The South-west direction is considered to be an abode of love. It is the home of the Earth element which ensures stability and permanence - prerequisites for a healthy marital life. To improve one's sex life, Feng Shui energises this corner of your bedroom.

"The South-west area is an ideal place for all kinds of love-enhancement objects. Some of the most common objects to activate love and passion in this area include a pair of mandarin ducks, hearts, double happiness symbols and a double carp fish,” suggests Kennedy of Astroyogi team.

For couples who argue often, keep three boulders (rocks) together in a South-westerly direction. Make a double happiness sign on them and tie them with a red ribbon to make the direction heavy with the Earth element and gain stability," adds Ritu.

Boost your sex drive: "If dwindling sex drive is the problem, place natural quartz crystals in pink (rose quartz) or a pyramid made of rose quartz on the bed. Conch or sea shells in pink quartz or simple natural conch/ sea shells on the bed side improves a woman's sex drive," suggests Ritu. "Cicadas are a potent symbol of fertility. Couples who are trying to conceive should definitely have an image of the cicada in their bedroom," recommends Kennedy.

Water's a total taboo: As per the rules of Feng Shui, having water in your love zone fills your life with dead energy. Water and all kinds of water related objects including water beds, fountains, and pictures of water falls should be kept away from your bedroom.

Another area of concern is the bathroom. The bathroom and particularly the toilet are major 'chi ****ers.' Make sure your bathroom does not face a South-west direction. If so, hanging a wind chime can tone down negative effects. Keep the toilet lid down and the bathroom door closed.

Bed basics: To keep things cosy between couples, avoid a king-sized bed. This is worse than sleeping in separate beds. "According to Feng Shui principles, it prevents a couple from sharing the same energy. A queen sized bed will keep you in contact and loving means touch. Contact brings intimacy," suggests Kennedy.

"If the headboard of your bed is placed against a window, it will give you very little support in life from your lover. If you can't relocate your bed, simply place a decorative screen between the headboard and the window or hang heavy drapes to cover up the window at night," adds Kennedy.

Colour wise: "Feng Shui recommends quiet (yin) and calming neutral colours for the bedroom, including yellow, white, grey, beige and brown, as well as sensual accent colours, like pink and peach on the walls, furniture and bed sheets. Though bright red (yang) or bright pinks are meant to bring passion to a relationship; they should be used in accordance with the elements active in that particular area," suggests Patni.

Living elements: As per Feng Shui, natural flowers, plants and living animals like fish in aquariums should be kept out of the bedroom, since they are the symbols of negative energy. And if you are thinking to give red roses to your beloved, Feng Shui warns you! Red roses with long stems and sharp thorns harm your relationship; go for pink roses, without thorns instead. Pink symbolises harmony and an open heart.

Electric energy: As for a television in the bedroom, a lot of Feng Shui masters are strictly against it. But, if you can't live without your TV-and-bed combo, cover your TV with a piece of cloth when it is not being used. "This will shut out the negative energy that they emit even in the still mode. But, we recommend keeping all those electronic gadgets away from your love area, especially where you place your head" says, Patni.

Let the chi flow: Since Feng Shui is all about the balance between the yin (female energy) and the yang (male energy). Make sure you have enough open space on either side of your bed. Also, keep your bedroom neat, airy and uncluttered to let the chi meander freely in your sleeping quarters and dispel the stagnant chi that causes health and money-related problems. Soft-edged chairs and curvy furniture sans any sharp edges also promote the flow of chi.

Last but not the least, maintain a positive attitude and be open to the possibilities of Feng Shui. Don't be afraid to make the physical changes and let the cosmos bring love to you. And remember, the only way to get the best of sex is to love your partner, so never miss a chance to say 'I love you!' and see the magic.